Archive for January, 2007
The Theatre Techie Gospel
A friend of mine sent this to me, I laughed and then decided to post it here!
The Theatre Techie Gospel:
In the beginning there was the Stage, and the Stage was without lights or sets, and darkness was on the faces of the actors. And the Technical Director (hereinafter referred to as the TD) said, “Let there be Lights!” and the TECHIES worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and backlighting – yea, lights of all shapes, sizes and hues. And the TD saw the lights, that they were well aimed and focused, gelled according to the scene, and no more was there darkness on the faces of the actors. And it was good. And the evening and the morning were the First Day.
And the TD looked upon the actors and saw that although they walked in light, they did walk upon a bare stage, and had no place to be, and the TD was moved to pity. And the TD said, “Let there be a Set!”: and the TECHIES scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, wagons, stairs, and furniture of various types and sized, each according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the TD saw the set, that it was good, and the evening and the morning were the Second Day.
And the TD saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools, for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And in his heart, the TD was moved to pity. And the TD said, “Let there be Props!”: and the TECHIES worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. And they were good, and the evening and the morning were the Third Day.
And the TD looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth in blue jeans and the TD knew that this would not due. And the TD said, “Let there be Costumes!”: and the TECHIES did cut and sew and shape, and there were costumes, each sized to the actor, according to the play, and keeping in with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans, and the TD saw the costumes, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the Fourth Day.
And the TD watched the play, and saw that the actors did wait in silence, and was moved to pity. And the TD said, “Let there be Sound!”: and the TECHIES worked and taped, and there were sounds, each according to its place and cue, all at the proper levels. And the TD heard the sounds, that they were good, and the evening and the morning were the Fifth Day.
And lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient TECHIES in the first place, He would have finished sooner.
Neato Bandeeto!
Over the weekend I went out in search of a great place to take some panoramic photos from…. Here’s one for ya!
Yihaaaa!
This weekend I have time off! Oh my god! I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.
Actually I going to hiking tommorrow morning in search of a great place to take panoramic photos. I can’t wait! Now if it seems as though I’ve been neglecting my photography, I haven’t. I’ve just been alot of crappy shots lately or maybe I’ve become more discriminating in my shot selections. WHo knows maybe I’ll become the next Ansel Adams….
Life is great!
All my problems with the vans (plural) are melting away. Albeit slowly but they are melting away and my life is returning to somewhat normalcy. Wait did I say normal? I did! hahahahahaha!
Van Woes
Bad News: The Beast aka the Vandaveer (so named because it belonged to a member of the Vandaveer tribe) died!
Good News: I found another van!
Bad News: I’m having a heck of a time getting financing for said new van!
Good News: I found a loan at a credit union!
Bad News: I don’t qualify to be a member!
Good News: I do Qualify? Yay! How the hell did you pull that off?
Bad News: I have Insufficient credit!
Good News: Get a Co-Signer!
That was my week. I know what you’re thinking. “My god what an exciting life!” I know right. I figure it’s because of my good looks or my worldy sophistication. It could even be because I came from good stock or because I know the difference between a salad spoon and a dinner spoon.
It’s a fork!
Are you sure?
Shit all this time I thought I was better than everyone else because I was eating my meals with the proper utensils but in actuality I’m an ass cause I’ve acting like a jerk to everyone because I thought I was using the right utensils when it turns out I wasn’t!
Well Fuck me swinging!
Ok Actually it has been a hell of a week full of ups and downs. Twists and turns. Lefts and rights. Okay the metaphor is getting old. This whole thing with the van has been like a bad episode of the twilight zone or something. And to top it all off the dealership still has my new van that isn’t mine yet because they needed to do a safety inspection which they didn’t do because they sold it too fast. It’s a great van and a great price but alas I’m getting burnt out on the whole experience.
Buying a car is hard. I don’t know how anyone does it. I’m buying a shitty little used van. How does anyone buy a new car valued at $40 or $50k? How do they get the loan for that if I can’t even get a loan for $7k.
Oh yeah that’s right! I didn’t get a credit card until I was 32 because I figured I’d be smart and not deal with credit cards until I absolutely had to. I saw all my friends go into debt because of credit cards and so I thought that they were evil (credit cards, not my friends). The root of all that ails the world. But as it turns out it’s Not Having a credit card that is the root of all evil. Not putting yourself into massive credit debt before your 21rst birthday is apparently a bad thing. Of course it is stupid!
That’s how the credit card companies make their fortunes! Charging you shitgobs of money because you don’t have any money but you want to buy shit anyways. And if you don’t buy that shit you are a lesser creature. the scum of the earth because you don’t have an Ikea Toaster! (does Ikea make toasters?) Oh I see! Now I feel so violated! Hey has anyone seen Fight Club?
What’s wrong with this picture?
I saw an ad for a radiator shop where I live here’s there website. ALl I need to say is look at their name.
